How Having Cancer is like Being Old

30 Jan

You and your grandmother both:

  • share a wheelchair
  • share a temporary handicapped parking placard (yes, that’s illegal, but it’s dumb to carry two separate placards around in the same car)
  • spend most of your time in bed
  • have no social life
  • wear Depends
  • have short-term memory problems
  • have boobs that could break a big toe without the support of a bra
  • have osteoporosis
  • take the same diuretic and heart medicine, and
  • have a mix of grey and brown hair (granted, hers is more salt-and-pepper and mine is more ferret-like).

Am I too young to die this old or too old to die this young?

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